The Art of Conversation

Cliff Richard sang “It's so funny how we don't talk anymore” way back in 1983.  That was 30 years ago.  Now obviously his lyrics were in the form of a lament on the breakdown of a relationship but today we can put it in the context of life in general.

 

So many of us have laptops or tablets on our desks; in our home offices; beside the bed and we use those to communicate with colleagues, friends and family.  We write, rather than speak.

 

Some of us Skype when we can, so as to see relatives and friends and how the children/grand children are growing.  

 

I work with young people, a lot of young people, mostly under the age of 25.  They are bright and clever and can be working on 3-5 electronic devices at one time.  My job is to manage their accommodation and see to their immediate needs and challenges.

 

What saddens but also humours me at times, is how poorly they communicate.  They rarely start with a greeting. Have plugs in their ears with music so loud I can hear it  and struggle to make a request that doesn’t require several questions to find out exactly what they want.

 

Of course, they also have their smart phones in their hands and look at them as if they will give divine inspiration.  I am pretty sure they don’t have an app on there that tells them how to ask for the maintenance man to come and look at their stove top!!!

 

I often ask young people to talk to me, tell me a bit about yourself and they struggle to respond.  I tease out of them every bit of information to help me to help them.

 

We need to practice the Art of Conversation with our young people.  Teach them how to tell the stories of their day, week or month in a way that is interesting and makes us want to listen.  We need to help them learn to converse and communicate verbally. 

 

When they go for that job interview their plugs in their ears and smart phones are not going to help them.  They are going to have to talk to their interviewer. 

 

Conversation has become the rarest of Art forms that needs to be returned to the people.

What is happening in this country?

I have often heard it said that “The Law is an Ass” – and it is increasingly difficult to put ones faith in it.  I won’t go so far as to say that the innocent are being found guilty but my goodness, too many who are found guilty are being let off without punishment of any kind at all.

My last blog was about integrity but it’s a bit like pushing the proverbial uphill.  This weeks reporting has seen shameful performances by law enforcement and the judiciary alike.

The Maori Prince, who by appearances and actions, has no mana at all has shamed his nation and his race and been let go without punishment.  He drove drunk putting peoples lives at risk, he thieved and has got off without conviction because he might be the Maori King one day.  Apart from outraging his race what about his victims?

The excuse that the future of the young people who break the Law during their misguided youth, isn't an excuse, it is condoning their actions and helping them believe they are bulletproof and above the Law!  Thanks Judiciary!!!

Today there is a letter of apology from the Police to a woman and her 11 year old son because they bungled an abuse case.  Abuse against an 11 year old. Because his father, the abuser is a so-called prominent New Zealander he has got off without punishment and name suppression!  When Jesus said "suffer the little children" I don't believe this is what he mean't.

My extremely angry and disillusioned self says to the Police and the Judiciary – grow a pair and do your jobs on behalf of the victims.  Sod the perpetrators – I don’t care if they are going to be a future King of the World or if it does destroy their career.  They have no integrity, they have chosen their path – they should pay for their crimes.

We are supposed to believe that crime doesn’t pay – but in these two instances these people who have sinned against others, and in the latter case of abuse against an 11 year old, are free, in fact future sinning is condoned.  Thanks Legal System.  Not.

(Written in a rage!!)

Are you prepared for public life?

None of us is perfect and we should often be reminded of the quote from the Book of John, Chapter 8, “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” but … once you put yourself in the public eye, in a position of trust, “squeaky clean” is not just a cliché.

Our Politicians don’t generally decide on a whim that they want to be in Parliament.  This is a decision based on years of hard work; party membership or support and a deep desire to be part of our countries governance.

That said, part of the preparation for public life should be “a life well lived”.  Integrity - the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles is what we should expect in our politicians; along with a good memory and a strong desire to serve rather than be served.

More and more we hear of poor judgement along the road to political life coming back to bite our representatives.  And bite hard at times. 

We are not necessarily born with the wisdom of Solomon who said “therefore no one who utters unrighteous things will escape notice, and justice, when it punishes, will not pass him by”. 

We all learn the difference between right and wrong by the age of three according to child experts.  Our character is built from then on.  Preparation for potential public life begins then as well. 

Perhaps a bit more reading and a great deal more public service would ensure we have a House of Representatives in whom we can be proud. 

It’s all about Timing

I recently coached a wonderfully talented woman to prepare for a cosmopolitan speech contest.  That is, a speech contest for people for whom English is their second language.  What a rewarding and fantastic experience this has been.  She worked very hard indeed and wrote a strong and powerful presentation. 

Coaching someone for whom English is not their first language, has different challenges.  Ensuring the speech was powerful using appropriate language and emphasis was paramount as her message was dramatic.   She has a very good vocabulary and works hard on her language skills.  A few editing suggestions and the speech was ready.

With the speech itself sitting exactly where it needed to be, it was time to practice and perform.  My student was like a sponge soaking up all the advice.  She worked very hard on her pronunciation; her gestures were strong and effective , now for the timing.

There is a rule of thumb that if you speak at 110 words per minute  you will be heard and understood.  By that theory you can have 880 words to make up your 8 minute speech.  However, there must be time for pause; audience reaction and dramatic effect.

My student had about 680 words and after much practice, on the night the time was 7 minutes and 55 seconds.    Her timing was fantastic and her performance strong and effective.   She won the contest and will now go on to the National Competition in May. 

A presentation  is always about timing, go over time and you take someone else’s time, go under time and you let yourself down.  Whether its  a contest or not, it’s all about the timing.

Our Responsibility To Youth

It’s his or her first job.  There is much anticipation, excitement and nervousness.  They have so much to offer and the employer wants to harvest that youth, skill level and enthusiasm for the benefit of their business.

However, what about the employers responsibility to that young person.

It is easy to forget that a young man or woman in their first job is at a very vulnerable time in their working life.  The way they are treated in their first job will colour how they feel about work for the rest of their life!  That’s a big responsibility for an employer.

Employers must offer the appropriate training to ensure they can do their job; a supportive environment making the employee feel safe and be firm but fair in all matters pertaining to the policies and procedures of the business.

We hope, that when a first timer leaves us to go on to further their career, they leave with the skills, attitudes and knowledge to take them to the next level. 

The big question is, are you a supportive employer who takes these responsibilities of leadership and management seriously?   Believe me, it is worth working on.

Let’s make sure that youth is not wasted on the young.

Celebrating 40 years

Today in Taupo approximately 40 people celebrated the 40^th anniversary of POWERtalk Taupo.   I was honoured to be among the 40 and it feels like a double honour as in October I joined 50 people in Auckland to celebrate 40 years of POWERtalk Waitakere.

Formerly known as International Toastmistress Clubs the new branding as POWERtalk International is in celebration mode this year as we are 75 years young internationally.   The organisation was started to encourage women to have a voice; to increase their confidence and enhance their leadership abilities. 

Forty years of providing leadership and presentation skills training to men and women in New Zealand is an outstanding contribution.  Clubs set up in 27 countries throughout the world and the training programme translated into languages such as Icelandic and Japanese, means we are definitely part of a successful International organisation.

Hearing the many reasons people joined clubs was stimulating and exciting,    Hearing the successes; the stories of support and encouragement and fabulous fellowship was heart-warming and  uplifting.    We all did something good for ourselves when we joined a POWERtalk International Club. 

Congratulations Taupo Club.  19 members attending meetings; a Past International President and an International Speech Contest finalist.  A strong club getting stronger daily.

If you want to do something good for yourself visit our New Zealand website:  www.nzregion.powertalk.me

Leadership – the intentional influence

“The conventional definition of management is getting work done through people, but real management is developing people through work”.

I have been giving a great deal of thought to this subject of late.  Questioning my own management style and hoping it is, as quoted by Agha Hasan Abedi above.   He was a banker and philanthropist and someone I consider a great Leader.  He provided the trust and support to his managers to get the work done with minimum interference.   The Orangi Pilot Programme is a clear example of the success of his Leadership. 

Whether we manage a business or a community group or organisation, our communication with our colleagues, be they our peers or staff members, is the key to success.  We need to communicate clearly our objectives and listen closely to our team members ideas and solutions to gain the greatest success.

Henry Kissinger thought along the same lines when he said “The task of the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not been."

Have you reviewed your Leadership lately?